Nazi Zombies: Awesome Quotes!
by Spyash2
Summary: I've heard the quotes from both Shi No Numa and Der Riese. But what would happen if the characters you play could respond?  Any suggestions for new quotes can be suggested.
1. Chapter 1

I've heard the quotes from Shi No Numa and Der Riese, and even though their funny, I just feel like there's something missing. Like comeback Quotes! Think about it, one of the characters insults you or praises you and the character you play makes a comeback!

Here's a few I thought of!

Warning: The lines I've placed are different quotes and are made to stop confusion. That is all!

Takeo: Nikolai, you are an Idiot!

Nikolai: Hey Takeo, if I'm an "Idiot" Then how come I survive longer than you eh?

* * *

Dempsey: Oh headshot from the Mighty Takeo!

Takeo: Ha, too bad you can't shot for life Dempsey.

* * *

Takeo: Richtofen, you are a mighty warrior to be feared!

Richtofen: Ja thank you. So is ze Russian!

Nikolai: Dam straight!

* * *

Dempsey: How come nothing is free anymore?

Takeo: Because you were born!

Nikolai: Ouch, you just got served!

* * *

Richtofen: No! No I don't want to go to hell! I've got nothing to wear!

Dempsey: Then put some clothes on, dumb fucking Nazi...!

* * *

Dempsey: How come whenever we least expect it, these Smell-hounds just suddenly appear!

Richtofen: Zey must be attracted to you American. Zat vas ven you said "Go sniff some freak-bag ass!"

Nikolai: AH HA, now I know why they keep coming after us!

* * *

Richtofen: Nikolai, remember ze time ven ve vere in ze Swamp?

Nikolai: Yes, just recently in fact. *Shudders* I'll never forget that night!

Richtofen: NO! NEVER SPEAK OF ZAT!

* * *

Dempsey: Richtofen, sometimes I have this strange feeling in my gut, and it won't go away. What's it mean?

Richtofen: It means zat you are in love!

Dempsey: I'm in love with a toilet? HELL NO!


	2. Chapter 2

Here's another round of Quotes I've thought up.

Dempsey: Has it ever occurred to you guys that we were fucked from the beginning?

Nikolai: What makes you say that?

Dempsey: In that swamp we got our asses eaten by those freak-bags!

And yet we're here alive. What does that tell you?

Riochtofen: I means you boring ze shit out of us with your ramblings Dempsey!

* * *

Nikolai: Takeo and Richtofen cover me while I go for the box!

I need to get rid of this fucking Colt!

*Nikolai opens the mystery box.*

Dempsey: HEY SHUT THE DAM DOOR!

Nikolai: HOLY SHIT!

* * *

Richtofen: *Singing* Dempsey, Dempsey. Doctor is not impressed! I'm so happy!

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! BLOOD! Zombies, Zombies, his head is gone! How beautiful!

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA, Shiza!

Dempsey: *Wide eyed* oh my fucking god! Richtofen's gone gay on us people!

* * *

Richtofen: What do they feed on? Corpses?

Dempsey: No, they feed on dog shit. Dumbass...

Richtofen: Dempsey, vould you do something for me?

Dempsey: *A cocky smirk forms on his face* oh? What?

Richtofen: *Unholsters M1911A1* DIE!

* * *

Takeo: Humph, there is no such thing as hell Russian!

Nikolai: Then why do you call those fucking mutts hell-beasts then?

Takeo: ...Go away!

* * *

Richtofen: vhy do we always stay in ze same place?

Dempsey: I don't know, it was Takeo's idea!

Nikolai: My back is cramping!

Takeo: Staying inside the box itself throughout the entire battle was what we agreed on!

* * *

Dempsey: I once saw a very little bird. Who once sang a song, all day long! So I crushed it's skull like a bug!

Nikolai: ...What...The...Fuck?

Richtofen: Is he?

Takeo: I have the PTRS! And I have the stupid American in my sights!

* * *

Dempsey: *Sighs* There's a lot of aggressiveness around here...

Nikolai: You don't say.

Dempsey: You know what I like to do?

Nikolai: I'm afraid of asking...

Dempsey: I polish the old weapon.

Nikolai: Really...?

Dempsey: Yep, give it the old cleaning! With a hot rag, and move the hand up and down. Heh heh heh.

Nikolai: That's disgusting!

Dempsey: What? You never cleaned that old weapon of yours?

Nikolai: Forget it! I'm not talking to you anymore!

Dempsey: Oh well, just to tell you I prefer to do it out in the open as well!

Nikolai: WHAT! Where other people can see you!

Dempsey: Of course. What? You're telling me you've never given that PPSh of yours a good cleaning?

Nikolai: ...my PPSh?

Dempsey: Yeah, your weapon! What did you think I was talking about?

Nikolai: ...Never mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Here's is some more talk backing quotes that a friend and I thought of. Hope you all like

Dempsey: 'grabs shotgun' Two words... KAFUCKINBOOM maggot sack!

Nikolai: that's three you dumb American! Do any of you people know how too count?

Dempsey: I don't know were all too busy gettin pussy to care!

* * *

Ricthofen: Stumpy was rude to ze doctor stumpy paid ze price!

Dempsey: That's what she said!

* * *

Ricthofen: Once again, Nikolai leads from the front.

Dempsey: And once again Ricky takes it in the rear!

* * *

Ricthofen: I require more money!

Dempsey: Then ya shouldn't have killed the Jews ya dumb fucking Nazi!

* * *

Dempsey: I fucking HATE fish!

Nikolai:'nudges dempsy' Then you should probably stay away from doctors girlfriend.

Ricthofen: Bumsen!(fuck)

* * *

Takeo: My gun is like Dempsey's head. Empty.

Dempsey: My temper is like Takeo's dick! SHORT!

* * *

Takeo: The main ingredient...a Zombie!

Dempsy: I always thought it was cat!

* * *

That's all for now! Take your pick and fav the quotes. Don't forget to comment!


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry that I took so long guys, but to make it up to you; here's some quotes that we know. And a few of my own as well.

Dempsey: Go sniff some Freak-Bag ass meathole!

* * *

Nikolai: Wow, Dempsey, I think the stumpy can't understand you.

Dempsey: *Takes a pictogram of a zombie sniffing a dogs ass* Maybe this'll help 'em!

* * *

Richtofen: Vat do zey feed on? Corpses?

Dempsey: Noooo... They eat dog shit instead of dead thing's that are lying on the ground!

* * *

Takeo: Screw you!

Dempsey: No it's 'Fuck you' Takeo. 'Fuck you'.

* * *

Dempsey: Takeo, why don't you EVER sing a Jingle? It's fun!

Takeo: I am not foolish enough to sing a 'Jingle' Dempsey.

Dempsey: You're the odd one out then. Who's foolish now! *Evil laugh*

* * *

Nikolai: Little bastard tried to bite me!

Dempsey:...I don't think that crawler was trying to bite you...

Nikolai: What? Ew, get it off me!

* * *

Takeo:...

Dempsey:...

Takeo:...

Dempsey...

Nikolai: What the hell are you two doing?

Dempsey: Quite Nikolai... I can tell, when he's listening!

Takeo: I am always listening.

Dempsey: I know!

* * *

Nikolai: I feel empty...SHIT I AM EMPTY!

Takeo: You are not empty Russian. You have a soul, for now.

Nikolai: I was talking about my weapon you idiot. Look before you talk!

* * *

Richtofen: Look, ze missing link! And he's holding a monkey!

Dempsey: Look, it's a dick! And Richtofen's holdin' it!


	5. Chapter 5

Dempsey: Didn't anyone tell you? I'm a fucking crack shot!

Nikolai: No wonder you always so crazy.

-

Dempsey: I'm gonna miss that little guy.

Nikolai: Pussy!

Richtofen: Don't be mean Nikolai! That monkey was practically FAMILY to him!

-

Dempsey: SHIT! Outta gun juice

Richtofen: Good! Last thing we need is another one of you running around!

-

Nikolai: Only man and wife should be so close!

Dempsey: Yeah! Tell that to the doc!

-

Dempsey: Why is no one killin' these things!

Nikolai: Where's my VODKA!

Takeo: ...

Richtofen: Dempsey, you are such a cry baby. Nikolai, zat drink of yours... Is vith ze stumpies.

Takeo: I hate you all!

-

Nikolai: Ah, the weapon I used to kill my second wife. It was accident... she talked too much.

Dempsey: *O_o* Wtf is wrong with you?

-

Richtofen: Doctor is not impressed, janki-joe

Dempsey: This American thinks this Nazi is a fucking crack whore.

-

Dempsey: I SWOLLOW YOU'RE SOULS!

Takeo: Only an idiot would do that.

Richtofen: Takeo, Dempsey is an idiot. he vould throw himself at a stumpy women if he vould.

-

Dempsey: Reach for Joggernog tonight! Yeah, I can totally, you know? Get inside that chick.

Nikolai: Ew...

Takeo: Dempsey, to much imformation!

Richtofen: If zis is ze American vay... I shudder at ze thought of ze Russian vay!

Richtofen: vell zis vas rather unexpected.

Takeo: Always expect the unexpected, Richtofen.

Nikolai: And what would that be?

Dempsey: Expect the unlikely Nikolai. For example, Takeo shoving that sword of his up his yellow ass!

Takeo: RACISM!


	6. Chapter 6

Takeo: (when seeing Monkey bomb) Monkey is image of Nikolai's wife… but prettier.

Nikolai: For once Takeo got it right... It is prettier than my first wife!

Dempsey: It'd be even more prettier once it blows up all those freakbags!

-  
Nikolai: (see's Teddy Bear) In Russia, I kill bears TEN TIMES YOUR SIZE!

Dempsey: Maybe I should go hunting with ya then.

Richtofen: Dempsey, are you even smart enough to even hunt?

Dempsey: I'M HUNTING FREAKBAGS, I CAN HUNT BEARS TOO!

-

Dempsey: (when pack-a-punching a gun) Come on, if I wanted to sit around I'd hang out with Nikolai and reminisce about the war!

Nikolai: Ah, those were the days...

Dempsey: Yup, They were. I remember it like yesterday...BUT I STILL WANT MY GUN!

Richtofen: Dempsey, maybe if you stopped shouting about the past, you would notice your gun is ready!

Nikolai: Doc, it's war memories, you can't help but shout about them when they're good.

-  
Nikolai: I kill to many to count!

Takeo: How many is that? Seven?


	7. Chapter 7

Nazi Zombies: Awesome Quotes!

Part 7

When Nikolai drunk Quick Revive

Nikolai: I think Dempsey is right, it is a bit fishy.

Dempsey: Glad to see I'm not alone on the taste...blegh.

Richtofen: It is rather upsetting vhen drank at ze vrong time.

Takeo:...I actuarry rike it.

Nikolai: That's because you WOULD like it.

When Dempsey got the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box

Dempsey: Hey Monkey! How ya' doing buddy?

Richtofen: He vould be doing 'fine' if you cram it up a zombies' Hinter!

Dempsey *gives Richtofen an awkward stare*: Uh, what?

Richtofen drinking Speed Cola

Richtofen: I can't be sure but I think it says zat ze active ingredient rots your mind…

Dempsey: So that' why you're so fucking insane!

Nikolai: Here! Take my Vodka! Force him to drink it!

Takeo: -_- Why must I be the sane one out of these three?

At the start of Kino Der Toten

Richtofen: I cannot torture my minions without power... Dempsey, you go turn it on.

Dempsey: Fuck you! You turn it on!

Richtofen: Vhat is it zat you Americans say? Oh 'ladies first' *laughs*

Dempsey: Oh yeah? 'Gaylord's' have to do it, because they butt rape you, and they always die first!

Takeo: …Nikorai, should we knock them out before things get serious?

Nikolai: No, let us enjoy this moment…

Random thing ;)

Dempsey: Ok, I'm really fed up with this guy writing about us ranting and putting us in gay assed situations…

Richtofen: You do know zat he is doing it now.

Dempsey: Oh I know alright. *grabs M16* And I'm gonna fuck him up!

Takeo & Nikolai: *grabs AK74u and Spaz12* We'll join you!

Richtofen: You do realise zat if he dies, ve vill not exist.

Dempsey: This makes it worth doing!

Richtofen: Vhat about 'our' fans? Zhey vill be disappointed…

Takeo & Nikolai & Dempsey: *Stares at each other* Fuck 'em!


End file.
